Perspective

(I actually wrote this back in August or September 2015. I was confident that it was time to post it, but something still held me back. Aside from the never taking the time to figure out this whole "blog" thing, I think I have been hesitant to put my thoughts out there and risk the criticism that might follow. But as we are in the thick of ugly political drama, it is all echoing in my head again. So I'm just going to do it. Here it is - 6 months later and still very relevant.)

After seeing a couple infographics and reading some quotes on the topic of perspective recently, I spent almost an hour looking for a John Edward newsletter that I remembered loving because I really wanted to share it. [Sidenote: If you don't know who John Edward is (the medium not the politician), I highly recommend looking him up. Even if you aren't into the whole psychic/medium type thing, his perspective and thoughts on life are refreshing and thought-provoking, and he is a positive voice in the sea of negativity that tends to flood our world these days.] I wasn't having any luck finding the exact newsletter I was after, so I gave up and said "oh well" because it was late, and I was tired. Really it was mostly because it would have been a little "deeper" than I usually go with my Facebook posts, and I just didn't have it in me to deal with the possible debates that might follow. But, by coincidence or fate, it popped up in my memories from Facebook the very next day. Three years ago, I had actually already shared the very newsletter I had been looking so hard for. It resonated with me then and may be even more relevant today. So I felt that the universe was saying "Hey you. Here it is. Found it for you. Time to put it out there." Quite frankly all of my thoughts about this will just be way too long for a Facebook post. So here I go. My first blog post. On something completely different than I had ever imagined when my sister started trying to convince (beg) me and our other sister to join her in the blogosphere.

Police violence. Civil rights. Discrimination based on gender, race, sexual preference, medical/mental challenges or a whole slew of other things. Political drama. Marriage equality. Caitlyn Jenner. The vaccine debate. Mommy wars. My Facebook feed blows up with this stuff on a daily basis, and I get totally sucked in to reading not just articles but the comments, too. Sometimes (rarely) it's a healthy debate, but usually it's just people spewing hate and negativity. I can't watch the news anymore. I'm an anxious person as it is and have enough trouble handling the all-consuming worry just about my family and making sure they are happy and healthy. But now, on top of all that "normal" worry, all of this horrible ridiculousness is happening. This is the world my kids are going to grow up in, and it makes me sick. The whole notion of one person's beliefs being "right" and the vehement refusal to accept the possibility that anyone else's beliefs could actually also be "right" is getting society nowhere. Even though what John Edward was discussing in this July 2012 Newsletter was in regards to religion, I feel it really applies to humanity in general and everything going on in the world right now with racial tension, the LGBT community and marriage equality debate, religious and political beliefs, and just the overall self-centered, judgement driven, jump-to-conclusions, speak-before-you-think type culture we seem to be living in right now.

At one of his events, John Edward is asked "What is the best religion?" He responds with the question "What is the best language?" Both are questions with no correct answer, because it depends on where you live (what your circumstances are, etc). He says, "Where you live indicates what language you more than likely speak. But that doesn’t preclude you from learning another language." I love this so much, I'm going to say it again. "Where you live indicates what language you more than likely speak. But that doesn’t preclude you from learning another language." I think this same analogy should be applied to race, sexual orientation, gender etc. No particular one is "better" than any other. The way you are born - who you are - obviously will affect your perspectives and the way you live your life, BUT THAT DOES NOT PRECLUDE YOU FROM LEARNING ABOUT ANOTHER. Or ACCEPTING another. Or RESPECTING another. Or LOVING another. We are all human beings. We are all living on one planet. We are all living different "languages" but we are all living OUR OWN. We may not understand someone else's language, but we have no right to say anyone else's is wrong. At some point all these negative people have to realize that you can choose to ignore languages you don't understand or choose to fight to make sure the "offensive" language doesn't affect you, but NOTHING you can do can make another person change their language. Would it really be so horrible if you took a little time to learn some other languages? Because guess what? You still get to speak your own language, and you also still have the right to choose to never speak their particular language if you don't like what you learn. Either way, at least we could all start understanding each other a little more.

John Edward also describes an exercise where you visualize a pyramid of a certain color but you can only see one side of it. So if you saw your triangle side of the pyramid as being blue – you would automatically think that all sides are blue, but someone sitting on the other side of the pyramid is visualizing their side as red (or any other color). So if you didn’t get up and walk around the whole pyramid you would never realize you were looking at the same pyramid. To take it a step further, if you were looking up at it from the bottom you could argue until you were blue in the face that you were looking at a cube. You might have a good reason for the argument and based on your perspective it could be true, but it still wouldn't make you right. 

Next time you find yourself passing judgement on someone or getting sucked into a debate that is turning ugly, stop and take a breath, and think hard before you speak or act. Try to open your mind to all the possibilities and perspectives and circumstances that might be out there. It is possible to stand up for your beliefs and still respect others' opinions. Maybe take a minute to learn a little more about what you are arguing against or who you are judging. We are all human beings and are so much more alike than we are different. We are all just trying to survive this world, and there is more than one "right" way to do it.

Sisters Unite!

After what feels like forever, my sisters and I are finally moving forward to work on this motherhood blog together. And although we have a mom focus, the whole idea of motherhood encompasses so much more than just our kids. Our families, our supports systems, our friends, our co-workers — they are all part of this wild ride. To those who know us, our facebook pages are always full of our special moments, but with a blog we can add a few more details to those stories. We invite you to share our wacky words with anyone you think would enjoy being with us while we are lost in the motherhood.